Chalk and Cheese Chronicles

Twin Moms at the Silicon Valley Moms Chevy Event

When I first became a mom, my world was my twin mom friends. We'd met through our local twins club, Gemini Crickets, and huddled together for warmth and safety, protecting our young, protecting each other. Moms of singletons ventured out and reclaimed their former lives faster than we did. We were slow to get going, encumbered by double the baby gear, double the weight and double the challenges. Slowly, our babies grew up, became preschoolers and now, kindergartners and we, well, we just aged. And we're outgrowing our twins club, the days of sleep training and potty training and Music Together far behind us.

I joined SV Moms just before they launched, back in April of 2006. Linsey and Linda soon followed me over, and then, this year, we were joined by Carla (who photo blogs), Ana Garza and on Deep South Moms, by Lisa G. Recently, we were even followed over by the BFF to twin moms, Mama Speak, who is 6 degrees from every twin mom I know and I love her! Suddenly, it seems as if we've all got our groove back. We'd passed through the twindom and survived the early years. But what next? Then came SV Moms, and there we found a new home. What could be better than going off to college with your closest friends? That's how it feels.

When my son finds himself in a new place, he uses a trick to facilitate making new friends. He brings a toy. Then, when the kids flock around him, attracted to the toy and ultimately, to him, he feels secure. It's his way of making friends. Believe it or not, I'm a bit of a shy person inside, always slightly insecure. I rarely like to be the first person to enter the room. No, you go first, I'll follow behind. I think I need to be an event photographer. At my friend's wedding, she assigned a bashful friend the task of taking candid Polaroid shots of wedding guests and it worked, the friend worked the room with her camera, meeting people along the way.

So that's what I need, an excuse to be there, a reason to approach people. I know, I can rely on what my mom says is my incredible wit and adorable personality, yada yada to do the same, but couldn't I just tote around a security blanket once in a while? So barring a fancy camera to bring me comfort, I do love that I have my twin mom friends as my social crutch. And having braved a few social events within the blogging community In Real Life, I am finally branching out and enjoying it. Really, I am. I'm lucky to be able to move amongst the two communities, now interwoven. I've even met more SV Moms bloggers who are moms of twins: Beth, Kirsten, Alix, Bonggamom and Sidney! Not to say that moms of singletons don't rock - they do! - but sharing the experience of parenting twins, especially during the early years, is a special bond.

I Will Separate My Twins in Kindergarten

Is Separating Twins Really the Answer? @ Yahoo! Video

I should have seen it coming that day when I watched the grainy screen at one of those early ultrasounds. My boys, still in in utero, floating in a silent space and then, suddenly...KICK...HIT...WHACK. I had a ringside seat to a fetus fight. My husband and I laughed but it certainly was alarming to see our tiny babies go at it like that. Couldn't they just put webbed fingers together and somehow hold hands?

Everything was going so well until this past year at preschool when one was asked to go on a play date and not the other. It was a miserable FAIL. I'm well aware of the benefits of separate play dates and I embrace them, but with my competitive two, one social and one tentative, it doesn't work just yet. The repercussions are brutal, with one twin suffering beyond just tears as a result.

My boys are best friends, but they do fight. They are competitive. They spend so much time together, that they need a breather, they need a chance for each to develop his own set of friends. They are fiercely independent, always fine on their own without each other, without me. But they also thrive on the bond they share. They share laughter and love, but they need a chance to develop into their own persons.

When my boys go off to kindergarten, I'll be separating them. I know it's the best thing for them, for their classroom, for their teacher, and for our family.

Original post to Chalk and Cheese Chronicles.

Video originally from this post on Silicon Valley Moms.

Activion & Bill Nye: Science Fun for the Our Family

I think it was the quicksand that did it.

We introduced our 4 "AND A HALF!!!" year-old boys to Bill Nye the Science Guy via You Tube exactly two hours before we were to meet him in person. My boys are intrigued by science so from the moment they first watched Bill Nye talk about quicksand, they were sucked in and they loved it.

So at the invitation of the eco-friendly folks at Activion, we joined fellow SV Moms bloggers and their families at San Jose's Tech Museum of Innovation (we like to call it the Orange museum!) to see our new friend Bill teach us some science. My boys dressed the part, donning their safety goggles and clutching plastic test tubes. Then they practiced working "Bill Nye the Science Guy" into everything they said, mostly because they liked the way his name rhymes.

When we entered, the room all set up with rows of chairs and I had but one thought: We are doomed. For some reason, I'd had it in my head that this was going to be more of a hands-on demo, with centers like in preschool. Would my rambunctious little boys be willing to sit through this?

But once Bill Nye began to speak, my boys snapped to attention, then rushed to the front of the room to join the other kids on the floor for an up close view of science in action. It worked. It was like Science 101 for preschoolers. I stayed on the side, auditing. We watched as Bill in his signature lab coat and bow tie launched into a demo of the Activeion, breaking down the science behind it in simple terms. I glanced back at my science oriented husband who'd stayed seated toward the back and I could tell he was enjoying this event. But Bill sealed the deal with the pint sized future scientists when he brought out the big drum (really, a big rubber garbage can) and banged out huge rings of smoke which hurled across the room like cannon balls. My little guys were thrilled!

LeapFrog: Creating Haves in a Have-Not World

I love the whole genre of children's books. One of my most favorite activities is browsing about bookstores, especially children's bookstores such as Linden Tree and Hickelbees. If I lived in Portland, Oregon, I'd take up residency within the dusty mansion of Powells Books.

Coffee. Books. Rain. A winning combo.

We are readers. I enjoy buying books for my children. Our structurally weak Ikea bookshelf is at capacity, leaning dangerously to one side. We have board books and picture books, chapter books and lift-a-flap books, vintage books (from my childhood & from used bookstores) and over-sized books from the bargain bin, we have books on CD and books downloaded to my iPod. We also make the rounds of our local libraries, but those outings must be carefully timed to coincide with my boys' good moods; we've been reprimanded there more than once by stern librarians. My husband and I have been reading to our boys since they were tiny bundles. My husband includes an elaborate, improvised story every night before bedtime. In the darkness of the room, two wide-eyed boys stare at the images flying all around, until eventually, they surrender to sleep, hugged by the words of their dad.

Earlier this month, I joined other Silicon Valley Moms Blog contributors for a discussion hosted by LeapFrog. Dr. Anne Cunningham, of UC Berkeley's Graduate School of Education, and on the LeapFrog advisory board, led the forum which focused on the importance of reading to your children. (For a great recap of the discussion, read Linsey's post on Me Too You or this post from a third grade teacher.) What struck me the most during the discussion were the implications of the Matthew Effect which Dr. Cunningham touched upon in her presentation.

The Matthew Effect as applied to literacy describes how the have and the have-nots grow further apart in their reading achievements based on the disparity of their early exposure to reading. Basically, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. It has largely to do with one's socioeconomic background. In a tiny nutshell, the have-nots have not been given huge doses of language at an early age. So by the third grade, when expectations of language comprehension greatly expands, the have-not kids are at a huge disadvantage. Some of these kids might not ever learn to read.

As I and my fellow attendees gleefully brought home bagfuls of LeapFrog products that night, I started to think about the Matthew Effect of the have and the have-nots. I quite often feel like a have-not by Silicon Valley standards yet as I review all that I've been able to give my children, despite not being materially wealthy, I have to think that my children are very, very lucky. They have parental involvement on their side. They have books, trips to the library, preschool, dinnertime conversation, and now, our new LeapFrog Tag Reading System. Thus, we may not have material wealth, but we are a family firmly on the side of the "haves."

So I wondered, how does LeapFrog attempt to create haves in a have-not world? Clearly, a low income family cannot afford to plunk down over $50 for a Tag Reading System. According to a spokesperson at LeapFrog, the company believes that early literacy experience is the key to reading success. They would like to spread the experience of early literacy to ALL children. LeapFrog is currently developing a program with PACEAPP (Professional Association for Childhood Education Alternative Payment Program) to bring books and possibly the Tag Reading System into the hands of low-income families. The collaboration aims to go beyond the delivery of reading materials and into the realm of educating low-income parents on early literacy skills. LeapFrog also sponsors campaigns like 2008 Read for the Record and promotes literacy through local events and charities. These are just a few of the many programs LeapFrog is implementing in its effort to advance early literacy.

I'm proud of you, LeapFrog,thank you for reaching out to young readers of ALL families. 

Original blog post to Chalk and Cheese Chronicles.

Akemi/svtwinmom is hoping to someday use the Tag Reader to learn a new language. Product development, are you listening?

SV Moms Book Club: Writing Motherhood

Today, I am participating in a book club hosted by the Silicon Valley Moms Group.  Inspired by the book, Writing Motherhood by Lisa Garrigues, my mission is to write about one of my most outrageous or inexcusable bad mothering moments and gosh, I, um, have so many of such moments. Where to begin?

I guess I'll talk about the time I bad mouthed my own mother in front of my diaper clad children. I only did it because it made me feel better and saying it in front of the children was like saying it in front of a dog. Surely they weren't listening to my little diatribe.

I'm just a newbie blogger and she's the First Lady

The first thing I noticed were the Botticelli curls. Then the megawatt smile. Wow, oh, wow, Maria Shriver is stunning. Yesterday, in the intimate setting of a Palo Alto bookstore, we bloggers from the Silicon Valley Moms Blog gathered to hear Maria talk about her new book, Just Who Will You Be? I was curious to find out more about this person whose image had flashed across my monitor and television screen for decades. Her life has had numerous incarnations: award winning journalist, bestselling author, mother of four children, First Lady of California, wife of Arnie - to name a few. And we all know that she's a Kennedy. So how, I wondered, did she manage to find her way through all of these transitions?

Although her book (a quick read at just 91 pages) started out as a graduation speech which asked the question, "Just Who Will You Be?", it evolved into a question that Maria set out to answer for herself. During our discussion, Maria was gracious and warm, fielding our questions with ease. We were absorbed in the moment, lingering on her words, not wanting the evening to end. The message I took away from the book and the discussion is this: Be true to yourself. Be genuine. Live your own "wild and precious" life.  In her book, Maria also writes, "I pledge to avoid using the word "just" to describe myself. For example, I won't say, 'I'm just a mother.' " Gosh....that's so me! The old me, I mean. Just is my favorite adverb, especially when it comes to describing myself. The new me is gonna banish the word "just" when describing myself starting....um....now.

Some examples:

Old me: I'm just a bag lady (describing my upcoming role in my multiples club's annual fundraiser auction where my role is to place tickets in bags and draw winners)
New me: I'm a bag handler! Right on!

Old me: I'm just a newbie blogger. Five people read my blog (my mom, my dad, Linda, Linsey and the occasional person who lands here by accident)
New me: I'm a blogger! You know it!

Maria Shriver, I salute you. Thank you for giving me the courage to just be me!

(A full transcript of the meeting is available here. For video footage, click here.)