Ikea Småland Gave Me 45 Minutes to Buy Nothing

We started using the Ikea play area, known as Småland, about a year ago. Before my kids were potty trained and before they'd reached the minimum height requirement, I'd eye that place with curiosity. Would my children like it in there? Would I be comfortable leaving my kids to encounter germs play there? Would Ikea Småland give me enough time to buy something?

Visit after visit, as I'd push my double stroller full of double trouble into the nearby elevators, I'd glance over at Småland and think to myself...another year...six more months...two more months and finally, bingo! My twins were 4-years-old and well beyond being potty trained and well above the minimum height requirement so off to Småland we went. We were all excited about our first trip to Småland. This is going to be a win-win, I said to myself, smiling in anticipation of 45 blissful kid-free moments to roam about Ikea and for free (Ikea doesn't charge for use of Småland.) We went off-hours when I knew Ikea would not be crowded.

The first thing I noticed was that, despite the friendly sign that beckons children into the "Magical Forest," this was drop-in day care. I knew it straight off the bat. Nobody welcomed us in like they do on the first day of preschool. Nobody sent us loving smiles. Instead, I heard, KEEP THE BALLS IN THE BALL PIT. DO NOT THROW THE BALLS, PLEASE! I wondered to myself how many times they probably screamed that throughout the day. Soon she'll be screaming that at my kids, I figured, resigned.

We got off to a rocky start, not knowing the procedures for checking in and all. Mistake #1: My boys took off their shoes and held them in their hands while we lined up for entry.

YOU NEED TO GET A BIN.