Chalk and Cheese Chronicles

Twin Moms at the Silicon Valley Moms Chevy Event

When I first became a mom, my world was my twin mom friends. We'd met through our local twins club, Gemini Crickets, and huddled together for warmth and safety, protecting our young, protecting each other. Moms of singletons ventured out and reclaimed their former lives faster than we did. We were slow to get going, encumbered by double the baby gear, double the weight and double the challenges. Slowly, our babies grew up, became preschoolers and now, kindergartners and we, well, we just aged. And we're outgrowing our twins club, the days of sleep training and potty training and Music Together far behind us.

I joined SV Moms just before they launched, back in April of 2006. Linsey and Linda soon followed me over, and then, this year, we were joined by Carla (who photo blogs), Ana Garza and on Deep South Moms, by Lisa G. Recently, we were even followed over by the BFF to twin moms, Mama Speak, who is 6 degrees from every twin mom I know and I love her! Suddenly, it seems as if we've all got our groove back. We'd passed through the twindom and survived the early years. But what next? Then came SV Moms, and there we found a new home. What could be better than going off to college with your closest friends? That's how it feels.

When my son finds himself in a new place, he uses a trick to facilitate making new friends. He brings a toy. Then, when the kids flock around him, attracted to the toy and ultimately, to him, he feels secure. It's his way of making friends. Believe it or not, I'm a bit of a shy person inside, always slightly insecure. I rarely like to be the first person to enter the room. No, you go first, I'll follow behind. I think I need to be an event photographer. At my friend's wedding, she assigned a bashful friend the task of taking candid Polaroid shots of wedding guests and it worked, the friend worked the room with her camera, meeting people along the way.

So that's what I need, an excuse to be there, a reason to approach people. I know, I can rely on what my mom says is my incredible wit and adorable personality, yada yada to do the same, but couldn't I just tote around a security blanket once in a while? So barring a fancy camera to bring me comfort, I do love that I have my twin mom friends as my social crutch. And having braved a few social events within the blogging community In Real Life, I am finally branching out and enjoying it. Really, I am. I'm lucky to be able to move amongst the two communities, now interwoven. I've even met more SV Moms bloggers who are moms of twins: Beth, Kirsten, Alix, Bonggamom and Sidney! Not to say that moms of singletons don't rock - they do! - but sharing the experience of parenting twins, especially during the early years, is a special bond.

I'm just a newbie blogger and she's the First Lady

The first thing I noticed were the Botticelli curls. Then the megawatt smile. Wow, oh, wow, Maria Shriver is stunning. Yesterday, in the intimate setting of a Palo Alto bookstore, we bloggers from the Silicon Valley Moms Blog gathered to hear Maria talk about her new book, Just Who Will You Be? I was curious to find out more about this person whose image had flashed across my monitor and television screen for decades. Her life has had numerous incarnations: award winning journalist, bestselling author, mother of four children, First Lady of California, wife of Arnie - to name a few. And we all know that she's a Kennedy. So how, I wondered, did she manage to find her way through all of these transitions?

Although her book (a quick read at just 91 pages) started out as a graduation speech which asked the question, "Just Who Will You Be?", it evolved into a question that Maria set out to answer for herself. During our discussion, Maria was gracious and warm, fielding our questions with ease. We were absorbed in the moment, lingering on her words, not wanting the evening to end. The message I took away from the book and the discussion is this: Be true to yourself. Be genuine. Live your own "wild and precious" life.  In her book, Maria also writes, "I pledge to avoid using the word "just" to describe myself. For example, I won't say, 'I'm just a mother.' " Gosh....that's so me! The old me, I mean. Just is my favorite adverb, especially when it comes to describing myself. The new me is gonna banish the word "just" when describing myself starting....um....now.

Some examples:

Old me: I'm just a bag lady (describing my upcoming role in my multiples club's annual fundraiser auction where my role is to place tickets in bags and draw winners)
New me: I'm a bag handler! Right on!

Old me: I'm just a newbie blogger. Five people read my blog (my mom, my dad, Linda, Linsey and the occasional person who lands here by accident)
New me: I'm a blogger! You know it!

Maria Shriver, I salute you. Thank you for giving me the courage to just be me!

(A full transcript of the meeting is available here. For video footage, click here.)