Chalk and Cheese Chronicles

The New Birthday Trend: 7-11

The Pump-it-Up birthday party is so 2008.  This year, we're planning to do something a little different for my boys' birthday party. We're going to 7-11!

This is my husband's brainchild. Each party guest, he said, will receive a commemorative cup. Big Gulps and slurpees for everyone.

If you've been around my boys lately, you know that they are the have-nots when it comes to the contents of their lunchbox.  They don't get Lunchables. They don't get chips. They don't soda.

Whine, whine, whine. Everybody else gets Chips Ahoy in their lunch. Everybody else gets Gatorade in their lunch.

I'm not a great cook, but I put a considerable amount of thought into what I put in their lunch boxes. I do draw the line at making bento box style lunches, because I would have to make 200 tiny shapes out of carrots just to make one satisfying side dish for my hungry boys. I wouldn't say my boys' lunch box contents are pretty, but it's filled with whole grain goodness, fresh fruit, fresh veggies, and usually some sort of treat I've baked or cooked myself. For a beverage, there's water.

But I think my efforts at promoting healthy eating habits are backfiring, especially as my boys get older. Their classmates' lunches are filled with Doritos, Capri Suns and candy. Everywhere we go, my boys point out the kids around them who get to drink soda. "That 3-year-old has a soda," my boys wail, while looking down at their cups of tap water.

My boys are the first to devour any sort of junk food. It's as if they think they won't ever see it again.

"All we get is organic and whole grains," they lament.

So I've been giving them a bit of what they want. I'm not against junk. My kids occasionally get ice cream and cake and pizza and so on. I've even buy a bit of processed food for them, but I think they are growing sick of Annie's Cheddar Bunnies. They want Goldfish crackers in rainbow colors.

I'm tired of all the complaining. One day, I'm just gonna do it. I'm going to fill their lunch boxes with the stuff of junk food dreams:  Lunchables, a soda, Red vines for straws and Hostess Ding Dongs. Maybe I'll do it on their birthday.

Then we'll host a party at 7-11. It'll be a bit like that scene from Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Roddrick Rules where Greg and his older brother Roddrick go on a junk food binge in a convenience store. We'll have a hot dog eating contest. We'll  buy everyone Big Gulps and play a brain freeze game! We'll give away Slim Jims as prizes.

It'll be the party of my kids' dreams.

Then after that, what will I get? Either two kids who are sick to death of junk food or junk food devotees for life.

 

 

 

 

It's a Birthday Party for Twins! How Many Gifts Should You Bring?

So you and/or your children have been invited to a birthday party for twins, how many presents should you bring?

The question of gift etiquette for twins is a popular one! I see the question pop up on twins/multiples forums all the time, most recently on Twins with Tots.

What should you do? Give one gift from the family? One gift to each birthday child? One gift EACH to each birthday child? One gift to only the twin your child knows? Bestow the birthday twins with 10 puppies, a swimming pool and a house with stairs? (That's what my twins want.)

Let me save you the trouble of over-thinking this. Aside from the line about the puppies, the answer is, anything goes.

Because the dynamics vary so vastly, how could there ever be a steadfast rule on birthday gift giving to twins? Sometimes the twins have one birthday party, but separate guest lists. Sometimes, especially with older boy/girl twins, they'll have separate birthday parties, with some guests invited to both events. What about when twins are invited to a twins birthday party? What then? What if boy/boy twins are invited to a boy/girl twin party and they only know the boy? What if the kids don't really know each other that well? How do you make it fair? How do you make it personal?

Ouch, my brain hurts.

See how easy it is to over-think this?

We had 16 guests come to my twin boys' joint birthday party. So that would mean 32 Lego sets for each of my boys, right? Of course not. Some kids brought a joint gift. Some brought two gifts. One brought a gift for only one of my twins, because he only knows one of my twins.

It was all over the board. Mom and dad made the most longed-for gifts happen, so any additional gift was just icing on the cake. And really what my boys wanted most of all was a chance to play with their friends. Most of the toys my boys received have more or less become "pubic" property anyway; they both play with them.

Remember, a gift is just that, a gift. In the realm of first world problems, it's all good. One present, two presents, whatever. Do what feels right for you and your children. Do what feels right for your budget.

The lesson here? So long as you're not gifting just one twin with 10 puppies, a swimming pool and a house with stairs, give what you like.

I'll leave you with this video, CARMICHAEL and Shane (2006). It's heavy with sarcasm and one of my favorites.

16 Ridiculously Active Zombies

I went insane the other day and invited 16 boys over to my house for a Halloween party. We went all Plants versus Zombies, building the theme around a fabulous cake, designed by the talented Pam Smith, a mom at our former preschool.

Dress as a zombie, or dress as you like, I told each boy. I figured if most of the boys came as zombies, they'd be rendered a little slow, based on their obvious disfigurements and missing limbs.

Then my crazy mind went to an even crazier place and decided to put on a little backyard Halloween carnival. We'd hand our young guests 25 tickets (from a roll of raffle tickets) upon arrival which they could use to play games. A win at any game, entititled the guest to a prize ticket (tiny playing cards).

Then I went crazier still at the landfill site, Oriental Trading Company. I bought glow-in-the-dark rats, bats, eyeballs, skeletons and other creepy crawlers. I bought kites and foam gliders and aliens embalmed in slime, you know, for the BIG sought after prizes, the kind you see at Chuck E. Cheese that cost 250 tickets.

This is what you do when you have school age boys. You host a gross out fest. I thought briefly of having the boys compete in an arm fart contest, but then I didn't want to end up with 16 winners. Plus, arm farts aren't funny except when you're, say, 6. Or when you're a 40-year-old dad.

I thought I was ready. I'd made a fruit salad and veggie plate as healthy offerings. The brain mold jello turned out deliciously creepy. My mom donated finger shaped cookies, finger jello with layers of Halloween colors and orange slices tricked out with jello. I'd even baked vanilla bean cupakes from scratch, complete with vanila bean paste stripped right from the bean. I stuffed popcorn into hand shaped treat bags well into the night.

The Halloween themed games were all set up. We had a bean bag toss, a ball toss, a croquet game, a Nerf gun target game, a fish tank marble drop, a skeleton clothespin drop, a penny toss and a touch-and-feel mummy box, complete with semi-scary music emanating from within the box.

As this was a drop off birthday party, I'd set up a check-in table at the front gate, with prize bags, a marker for their names, name tags and a sign in sheet to gather names and phone numbers.

I was good to go!

But you can't host a party if you don't have help. Turns out, some of the moms who'd I planned to have helping were running late, very late. And my parents couldn't make it.

So for what seemed like forever and a day, there was just me, my husband (dressed in an easy to make but effective PvZ Cone Zombie costume), my good friend Nora and a sweet 10-year-old neighbor girl who is good with kids.

We worked our butts off.

Things didn't go as I'd planned. I had no one to check in kids at the front gate. I had no one to help serve food from the kitchen; in fact, much of it didn't get served at all. I had no one to man the prize table; it quickly became a "grab on your honor" table - try that with 16 little boys and see how well that works! I had no one to float around and make sure everything and everyone was engaged.

It was mayhem for a while. Well, at least from my perspective because my mind was everywhere and nowhere. The kids didn't notice a thing, they were too busy having fun. The carnival was a hit. The prizes were a hit! I was hosting one rockin' backyard party!

After what seemed like an eternity, my friend and I looked at our watches. We were ready to call it a day.

But only an hour had passed. One measley hour.

Unbelievable.

So we played the mummy game. We divided up the kids into two teams and gave them rolls of toilet paper to wrap one boy from each team like a mummy. They loved this game. When it was over, it looked as if the backyard had been TP'd by teenage girls (clean up was a breeze because we made it a contest).

The winning team received toy toilets. Not just any toy toilets, mind you, but colorful palm-sized loos with heft, all filled with slime.

If you ever host a party for a school age boy, slime toilets are the hot ticket. Make a note of that.

When there was a lull, my friend's husband Jeff saved the day and initiated a zombie walk contest. All the boys were game, with some walking like zombies and some hiding behind bushes. In the end, we had 16 ridiculously active zombies hobbling about the backyard.

Slow down, I wanted to yell, you're zombies!

So in the end, I think the party was a success. All the boys seemed to be having so much fun! They didn't know about my behind-the-scenes stress, or that the fruit salad didn't get served. They loved that they were able to grab more than their deserved winnings from the prize table. I would have stuffed their goodie bags with the leftovers anyway.

Would I do it again? Yes. I love planning parties. But I would make sure I didn't just have ghosts in the kitchen, but real help, real live flesh and blood help.

No Birthday Party, No Presents

My boys' 6th birthday came and went. There was a birthday cake and in lieu of a birthday party, a trip to Legoland which, in our family, is a big deal because my boys are fans of all things Lego.

We could have thrown a big party-in-a-box at Chuck E Cheese or Pump It Up, or even a smaller birthday party at home, but instead, we chose to divert our resources toward a day at Legoland. Although my boys wanted to be surrounded by their friends, they chose instead to go to Legoland and we agreed.

Which means they got pretty much zero presents from friends.

When I was growing up, whether I had a birthday party or not, our close friends and family always came through with a gift. Close relatives always sent something; thoughtful, cultural gifts from Auntie Carol; greenbacks from Uncle Jerry; and something to wear from Grammy. Then there were the close friends of my mother's (the "aunties") who always sent something small. It was never a  ton of gifts, just a few. It felt so special to be remembered. While I know that material items are unnecessary, being remembered and thought of on my special day did make me feel special. Besides, I was never one to want a birthday party for myself; I hated the limelight.

The Step and Repeat moves off the red carpet

I'm disappointed. Where were the paparazzi during the hundreds of times I made my glamorous (and not so glamorous) arrival at birthday partys, frat boy parties, weddings and baby showers? How many camera worthy moments were wasted posing in front of birthday presents, kegs, limos and diaper cakes when I could have been captured at my most radiant in front of a step and repeat backdrop?

You've seen the photos. You've seen the signature poses. It's the Academy Awards or the Grammy Awards and in strut the celebrities across the red carpet, stopping briefly at the step and repeat wall to give the parparrazi its fill.

There's Demi and Nicole and the Twilight cast making the art of posing look effortless. There's the Cosmo pose, the big smile pose and the usual hand on hip pose, all perfectly executed in front of a banner littered with the corporate logos of sponsors or the name of the event. It all blends together, logo and star. We watch, transfixed. It's the glamorous life. A step and repeat backdrop generates buzz.

Recently, the step and repeat backdrop has begun to move off the red carpet and into the lives of everyday people: Bat Mitzvahs, birthday parties, weddings, sorority pledge dances, to name a few.

Has celebrity culture has become so pervasive that we all harbor a desire to pretend we're celebrities? Is the step and repeat backdrop a symbol of celebrity narcissism or of our own narcissism? Earlier this year, the musician and artist Elijah Blue (son of Cher) used the step and repeat in an art installation commentary on the prolification of reality TV and the cheapening of celebrity.

A plating charge for cupcakes

Three friends, one with a birthday.

Dinner in Palo Alto, to celebrate.

Margaritas, savored; Platos tradicionales, shared.

Tucked in a box, Sprinkles cupcakes.

We check with the server, Is it ok?

Yes, the server replies, smiling. Happy birthday!

We dig in.

Then, whispers.

I'm sorry...

The owner... he saw... the cupcakes.

We gasp, wiping away crumbs.

It's just so illicit.

You must pay a plating charge ... I'm sorry.

The giggles stop, hormones fly like sparks.

There is a scene.

After all, we had asked permission.

The owner scans the scene like a night watchman.

We pay the plating charge, then flee.

It's like a prison break.

***

Another night, another birthday.

Jedi Training Academy: Trading Mouse Ears for Lightsabers

Mickey Mouse has delighted millions of children for generations. He and his endearing ears are iconic to Disneyland.

He is cute.

Yet for all the things Mickey Mouse represents, to my boys this beloved character is more defined by what he is not.

He is NOT Luke.

He is NOT Anakin.

He is NOT Darth.

He is NOT a guy with a lightsaber.

When we visited Disneyland last month, my boys blew past the Mickey this and the Mickey that. They poo poo'd anything with a princess on it. They pronounced the Winnie the Pooh ride as "for babies." The only other character at Disneyland to give them pause was good old Buzz Lightyear and his futuristic zapper. They love Buzz, but they love and fear Darth.

This year, in 2009, it's all about Star Wars.

My boys are obsessed. It began small, in preschool, then quickly blossomed into a full-blown obsession.

I don't fuel the obsession by showing them Star Wars or Clone Wars movies. But I do indulge them with the occasional Star Wars Lego set or Star Wars action figure...oh, and I might have shown them a You Tube video (or ten!) of children at the Disneyland Jedi Training Academy.

A Halloween Birthday at Disneyland

My twin boys will never not know that their birthday is coming. The signs will be few at first, a falling leaf, a chilly morning. Then, a dot of orange here and there, and finally, a sea of orange pumpkins and they will know. Fall is in the air, our birthday.

My boys are fall birthday boys, born in my favorite season. So what did we do to celebrate their big fifth birthday this year? We headed to Disneyland!

Looking over the Halloween at Disneyland site, I was mesmerized by the promises of a Disneyland transformed for Halloween. Disneyland is a special place when it's not a holiday, but dressed up in spookatcular style? There's nothing else like it. What a visual treat!

We'd been to Disneyland once before, in the unadorned month of May back when my boys were just three. At the time, I'd fretted over the type of stroller I should bring. This time, I'd planned to go on my twins' birthday. I'd heard that 2009 was like a twins convention at Disneyland -- but we didn't end up going on their actual birthday; it just didn't work with our schedule. The nice folks as Disneyland did treat us to a one night stay at the Grand Californian hotel and that was a gift the entire family enjoyed.

The Grand Californian made me smile from the very instant we pulled up to the front doors on a warm October Saturday. Tourists, most dressed in sunny weather attire, were bounding in and out of cars. I looked at my boys and hoped they were making a memory out of this. I love my own summer vacation in Southern California memories but mine were full of motels and neon signs, not Craftsman artistry!

In the warmly decorated lobby, my boys made themselves comfortable in front of a television showing classic Disney cartoons. They were in stitches over the classic slapstick fare of Donald Duck and Goofy - they'd never seen anything like it! It was so nice to have my boys sit still during the 15 minutes it took us to register at the front desk. A few minutes later, with our luggage stowed until our room was ready, we settled in for lunch at the hotel's Storytellers Cafe, future home to almost all our meals (let's say it was convenient and family friendly - oh, and yummy!). 

After lunch, we headed to the adjacent California Adventure Park which we told our children was really a part of Disneyland (it is, in a way...). "Where are the Pirates of the Caribbean?" they kept asking us to which we'd replied, "We don't know...let's keep walking." I suppose we could have used our tickets for two days at Disneyland rather than splitting up the parks by days but I'd wanted to take advantage of the hotel's close proximity to California Adventure and there were a couple of rides I'd really wanted to check out (Toy Story Mania, Soarin Over California, Tower of Terror). For the record, I forgot to wear the 3D glasses on Toy Story Mania until the ride was nearly over and kept wondering why puffs of air kept shooting past me. My boys didn't love Toy Story Mania and they much prefer the Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters ride at Disneyland instead. Soaring Over California was amazing and exhilarating and we loved breathing in the scent of the orange groves! At night, once the kiddos were tucked into bed (a bunkbed AND a trundle bed!) at our luxurious hotel, I made my way over to the other hotel...the Tower of Terror which I LOVED, with apologies to the strangers into whose ears I SCREAMED and SCREAMED.

My boys ended their day in bubble wrap bliss. Our kind friends at Disney Resorts had sent over a fun-filled gift basket plus balloons for their birthday. My kids were thrilled to have received such a special gift! They got mouse ears and markers and autographed photos of Buzz Lightyear and Peter Pan. But imagine a big hotel bed filled from corner to corner with bubble wrap! I don't know, in my mind, that runs a pretty close second to a fun-filled day at Disneyland.

The following day was the Big Day and by that I mean, my boys both realized their recent dream of attending the Star Wars Jedi Academy. My biggest worry had been how to deal with the sibling rivalry repercussions if only one of the boys had been chosen. I'd cautioned my boys, prompting them to be prepared to be disappointed if only one or none of them had been selected but I think because we planned our outing so well, the boys did both get chosen and it was exciting for them and exciting for their parents! I'm not a Star Wars fan and everything I know about the genre is by proxy and still, I was terribly excited to see my boys become full-fledged jedis on their fifth birthday. What a gift for my 5-year-old boys!

By midday, the crowds at Disneyland were enormous, but we'd been able to already see and do so much because we'd done everything between the hours of 7am and noon, before the heat of the day, and before the groundswell of crowds. Why was it so crowded during what I'd thought was the off-season? In talking with another twin mom friend of mine who'd also battled crowds there in October, we think it's because Disney has done such a effective job of marketing a Disneyland transformed into a whimsical pumpkin patch. Indeed, what a sight it is -- if you can look beyond the crowds.

So back to the hotel we went, fleeing the heat and the throngs of people. There are three pools at the Grand Californian, all of which were easily accessible via back elevators which pretty much deposited us ten feet from our hotel room. Sweet! I'm swimsuit averse, as I have been since I was a self-conscious adolescent so I monitored my boys from the sidelines while daddy took the plunge with our boys. They tested all three pools. The first was large and inviting - and in full sun. The second was round and fully shaded and so slightly chilly. The third had a mini slide for toddlers and a longer twisty water slide for stronger swimmers. My boys did both! How better to top off a morning at Disneyland than with an afternoon at the pool? My boys were having the time of their lives. The pool supplied towels and if needed, life jackets, so we really didn't have to bring those bulky items with us.

After the pool and after a gluttonous run on the buffet at Storytellers Cafe, we pushed the limits of  exhaustion for one final evening visit to Disneyland, hoping to catch the 9pm showing of Fantasmic. But the crowds were just too immense so we didn't have the patience to stand in line for any more rides. I pined for the empty streets of Disneyland at 7am... We ended up using our single strollers that evening and just strolling about the park. By the time 8:30pm rolled around, our little birthday boys were passed out.

And with that, my children exited Disneyland in the fashion of generations of children before them, collapsed in utter exhaustion!

Thank you Disneyland and Disneyland resorts. We can't wait to go back!

Original post to Chalk and Cheese Chronicles.

Traveling back to 1992

Sixteen years ago, my aunt had the foresight to put together a time capsule for her newborn grandson. We were all asked to contribute something so into the box went snippets of our every day stuff from the year 1992. Then we went on with our lives, the time capsule and its contents buried in a secret underground chamber tucked away in a closet for a 16 year pause between birthdays.

Well, that baby became a toddler and then a boy and now, at present, a teenager in whose bedroom probably resides the strewn contents of this 16 year old time capsule (eBay, anyone?). Yesterday, we feted the young lad, lifted our cake covered forks in honor of his Sweet Sixteen. I was eager to explore the items within that time capsule (now housed in a large wooden treasure chest), trying to remember what my contribution had been.