The Pump-it-Up birthday party is so 2008. This year, we're planning to do something a little different for my boys' birthday party. We're going to 7-11!
This is my husband's brainchild. Each party guest, he said, will receive a commemorative cup. Big Gulps and slurpees for everyone.
If you've been around my boys lately, you know that they are the have-nots when it comes to the contents of their lunchbox. They don't get Lunchables. They don't get chips. They don't soda.
Whine, whine, whine. Everybody else gets Chips Ahoy in their lunch. Everybody else gets Gatorade in their lunch.
I'm not a great cook, but I put a considerable amount of thought into what I put in their lunch boxes. I do draw the line at making bento box style lunches, because I would have to make 200 tiny shapes out of carrots just to make one satisfying side dish for my hungry boys. I wouldn't say my boys' lunch box contents are pretty, but it's filled with whole grain goodness, fresh fruit, fresh veggies, and usually some sort of treat I've baked or cooked myself. For a beverage, there's water.
But I think my efforts at promoting healthy eating habits are backfiring, especially as my boys get older. Their classmates' lunches are filled with Doritos, Capri Suns and candy. Everywhere we go, my boys point out the kids around them who get to drink soda. "That 3-year-old has a soda," my boys wail, while looking down at their cups of tap water.
My boys are the first to devour any sort of junk food. It's as if they think they won't ever see it again.
"All we get is organic and whole grains," they lament.
So I've been giving them a bit of what they want. I'm not against junk. My kids occasionally get ice cream and cake and pizza and so on. I've even buy a bit of processed food for them, but I think they are growing sick of Annie's Cheddar Bunnies. They want Goldfish crackers in rainbow colors.
I'm tired of all the complaining. One day, I'm just gonna do it. I'm going to fill their lunch boxes with the stuff of junk food dreams: Lunchables, a soda, Red vines for straws and Hostess Ding Dongs. Maybe I'll do it on their birthday.
Then we'll host a party at 7-11. It'll be a bit like that scene from Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Roddrick Rules where Greg and his older brother Roddrick go on a junk food binge in a convenience store. We'll have a hot dog eating contest. We'll buy everyone Big Gulps and play a brain freeze game! We'll give away Slim Jims as prizes.
It'll be the party of my kids' dreams.
Then after that, what will I get? Either two kids who are sick to death of junk food or junk food devotees for life.









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