Sometimes, I do not set the best parenting example. My son received a book during his second grade classroom's holiday book exchange. It was a board book. A search and find board book, the type my kids might have had when they were toddlers.
What he received:
The only rule for the gift exchange was that books had to be under 5 dollars. We headed over to Hicklebees and bought paperbacks for $4.99. My sons picked a book from the "Franny K. Stein" series which they thought would work for both boys and girls.
I was impressed. Here was a story about a GIRL with an independent streak who makes potions and likes bugs!
My boys picked out this book, my boys.
What we gave:
Book exchanges are challenging because the book's recipient is a mystery. What they like to read, what they've already read and what they're capable of reading is an unknown.
So I thought this book would be perfect, it shows a girl doing something. And she's not playing with dolls or putting on makeup either.
We put a lot of thought into purchasing this book, but then again, we are book people. We love to read.
When my son came home with the bargain bin (it had the Big Lots clearance sticker on it) Search and Find: Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall book, I just couldn't help but be disappointed. There are plenty of quality books out there for less than five dollars.
My other son came home with a Magic Treehouse book which we already had but which is a safe bet for this age group.
When I saw the Search and Find board book, I was disappointed. I snapped, "Give it to someone else in your class." I wanted people to know that he'd gotten a crappy gift. I wanted to shout to the other mom, "Hello! There are 8 and even 9-year-olds, not toddlers!" Heck, even the classic Goodnight Moon with its beautiful words and illustrations would have been a better choice.
My son, on the other hand, managed to keep his disappointment at bay. He didn't let it show in class, which is hard to do when you're seven. He told me, "Mom, I can't bring the book back, that would embarrass the girl who gave it to me."
Well, yeah. That's the point.
I was modeling some very bad parenting behavior and my son was having none of it. He got a crappy book and that was that. He'd moved on.
I won't even re-gift the book, it's so bad.
I might not be proud of my behavior but I am proud of my son. Even when I gave him license to complain about the book, he didn't.
We talked about gifts and appreciation yada yada but when Christmas came, the boy twice was unable to mask his disappointment (shoes! a finger printing kit to share with my brother!) so clearly, there's still work to be done.
Still, if you're thinking of giving a search and find board book to a typically developing second grader, don't do it. Opt for a Magic Treehouse book instead.
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