Our nameless Elf on the Shelf no longer has the magic it takes to do his job.
He can't fly, he can't spy.
Last year, my boys' kindergarten friends mocked them, saying the elf was not real. My boys carried on with a guarded belief in the elf. But they still believed in Santa.
The Elf on the Shelf book warns children to not touch the elf.
Please do not touch me. My magic might go, and Santa won't hear all I've seen or I know.
Apparently, we are not good listeners. Last year, Grandma touched him (accidentally, of course). This year, I touched him (again, accidentally). The other day, I caught my boys giggling and whispering. Then they fessed up that they'd touched his feet and his hat!
"I touched him the other day, too, " one boy continued, "and he still moved to a different place last night!"
"So the book is wrong... we can touch him and he still has his magic!"
"I remember I touched him last year, and he still came back!" the confessions continue.
This morning, our Elf on the Shelf was piloting the At At. (An Elf in the At At... hysterical, yes?) A half hour later, he'd been dumped into a bin of bionicle parts. He's been roughed up, it seems. This time nobody fessed up.
You can blame me for placing our Elf in places where my kids could reach him, but who'd have thought they would risk losing magic and therefore, presents from Santa? Usually, when I say "don't touch" my kids don't touch. I guess the Elf proved too tempting.
So while you all are continuing with your late night hop-out-of-bed-to-move-the-elf jaunts, I'll be slumbering peacefully, knowing our Elf on the Shelf is right where he should be, every night in the same place.
Oh, and there's more Elf tragedy.
And still more: My friend Laura reports that one of her twin boys pummeled their Elf on the Shelf, Snyder.
Laura describes the scene: "I gently picked him up and placed him in Santa's special mailbox telling my son that Santa or an elf will pick him up tonight and take him back to the North Pole and sprinkle some Xmas magic on him. Next day Snyder came back all covered in bandages. My son had to have a long talk with him and apologize."
I just can't bear all the tragedy, folks!
On the bright side, we re-read the Elf on the Shelf book after my boys had touched him and they noted that the book says the elf's magic "might" go if touched, the word "might" being the key word. And so our Elf is back, this time out of reach, way up high.
This is an original post to Chalk and Cheese Chronicles.