I am the mother of boys. I'm trying to raise them as globally minded citizens of the world who appreciate the pine needles they're standing on. Smell the pine needle, feel it, remember this moment, this tree, this adventure. Look at a map. Look for the treasure, run barefoot in the sand. Here's another map, find yourself on the map, find Paris, find Portland. Look, feel, smell - use all your senses. Take it in. Notice things. Ask questions, seek answers. See that person - he has a history. Run into the world, feel the wind. Read.
My boys are marvelous creatures. Working within my limited means (read: money!), I'm trying to give them the tools they need to seek their places in this big world. Which is why we're always on the go, why I'm always giving them teaching moments, why we're always looking, smelling, and eating up the world. They climb, they play, they imagine and slowly, they understand just a little bit more.
I won't keep my kids in the dark, sheltered in the living room, eyes glued to the television.
Inside, I celebrate my boys and the beautiful human beings they've become and yet, I have an uneasy feeling that society does not celebrate boys in early childhood. While I have no doubt that my boys' talents and abilities will take them far later on in life, society does not seem to celebrate the accomplishments of boys when boys are young. In kindergarten, for instance, there is great emphasis on fine motor perfection. Can you write your name in deneliean, dear block letter boys? In my experience, girls seem to favor fine motor activities. I was one of those little girls. I'd spend hours, in fact, I preferred to spend hours in my room coloring and drawing and writing letters over going outside. My brother, on the other hand, was always and I mean always, outside playing. Who would have had the advantage in kindergarten? Why me, of course. I think it skews parents' perceptions of how well their children are doing in school. Parents of girls get to coast with pride over their daughter's accomplishments, while boys who are accomplished at so many different things, get overlooked, their kindergarten experiences soured by the emphasis on fine motor perfection.
Boys are definitely not celebrated for what they wear. My boys pretty much look the same from the time they wake up, to the time they don their school clothes to the time they're back in pajamas at bedtime. Their look is fairly consistent, no matter what they wear. Girls, on the other hand, can put on a little dress and a hair clip and look exponentially cuter. Boys are boys are boys. Girls are can work the cuteness factor simply by putting on a dress. As an adult, I rely on my lipstick to do the same for me!
I recently went to to a trunk sale at which 5 or 6 local vendors were selling their lines of children's clothing. I knew from past experience that most of what would be presented there would be for girls, but when I found out a friend was going, I hitched a ride. Literally, there were only two or three boxes of tshirts for boys, and that was it. But for girls? There was boxes upon boxes of everything. It's hard to be the mom of boys sometimes. Retailers and designers do not like to dress boys. Whenever I do come across a line that not only makes a girls line, but a boys' line as well, I applaud them. They thought of boys.
Whenever I post photos of my boys on Facebook, few people comment. Eh, just boys. But when friends post photos of their girls on Facebook, in flow the comments. Boys are just, what...boring? And girls...pretty? Girls can wear tutus and fun flouncy skirts and angel wings and they can justapose these looks against myriad backgrounds. Photoshop can also be used to add to the glamour. Check out Nora's post on the evolution of Halloween costumes for her boys. Those costumes got progressively less cute. I post about the things we're doing, not what we're wearing. But what do people want? They want to see the clothes. We are a nation of shoppers, fueled by our love of pop culture celebrity. They don't care that my boys can figure out how to conduct a science experiment. So boring.
So what messages are we sending little girls when we celebrate only the way that they look? And what
messages are we sending little boys when we don't applaud their accomplishments? Of course, I'm generalizing but this is what I have perceived in my world recently. Kudos to you if you can see beyond the luster of fashion. Kudos to you if you are teaching your young fashionistas that life is more than just fashion. But I think we get swept up in the People magazine side to things. I know I do. I love reading People when I'm at the dentist's office but let's celebrate the things that kids do, not just the clothes that they wear. What does Paris Hilton actually DO anyway?
Hydrogen atom by Chalk Boy.
Original post to Chalk and Cheese Chronicles.
