Chalk and Cheese Chronicles

Tea for three (generations)

Today was a day for the ladies, a day to savor a few moments of tea with my mother and grandmother.

The rain poured down.

Huddled next to warm yellowed walls and forget-me-nots on teapots, we sat, stopping time, three generations, together.

Tiny, tender greens.

The aroma of tea steeped to perfection.

Savory delights.

And Sweets.

We are making tomorrow's memories, smiles my grandma, her eyes tearing a bit.

I smile back, shy with sudden emotion.

We chat, we munch, we share. 

At home, boys run circles around Grandpa.

Tea cups leap out of memories, from cupboards of the past. 

We are linked, we three.

Alive at the same time.

Scones disappear in a puff of clotted cream, leaving us wanting more.

Always more.

Original post to Chalk and Cheese Chronicles.

Elf on the Shelf

I am over at SV Moms this week, coaching parents how to lie about Elf on the Shelf.

Happy Holidays!

Meeting the World in Fourth Grade

The following post was inspired by the book Close Encounters of the Third Grade Kind by Phillip Done. Mr. Done is certainly the type of teacher whom some of his students will never forget. We can all scan through the list of our grade school teachers and pick the one who made the greatest impression on our young selves. For me, it's a teacher who once invited our entire fourth grade class over for a swim in her condominium pool!

I still have her letters. One is typewritten. A few are handwritten in her familiar cursive. Another is addressed to me in the bold lettering of calligraphy.

She was my fourth grade teacher and when she left our school to get married and move to Honolulu, she and I kept in touch for several years. As Ms. Kirby became Mrs. Izumi, I followed her trail through letters to a world bigger than my own. She wrote to me about her travels to Fiji and Guadalajara and about her life in Hawaii with her new husband, a lawyer.

In her classroom, she brought the world to us. We spent a lot of time talking about different countries. I spent a lot of time with my nose in encyclopedias, turning to the page of the country we were studying, finding the big map (Kenya!) and then tracing its outline onto tracing paper for my book reports. I loved doing those reports. Back in the classroom, the posters would change from Africa to Mexico to Japan. We watched many films about various countries, following the narrator into homes of the world. Our classroom felt like a museum.

Jedi Training Academy: Trading Mouse Ears for Lightsabers

Mickey Mouse has delighted millions of children for generations. He and his endearing ears are iconic to Disneyland.

He is cute.

Yet for all the things Mickey Mouse represents, to my boys this beloved character is more defined by what he is not.

He is not Luke.

He is not Anakin.

He is not Darth.

He is not a guy with a lightsaber.

When we visited Disneyland last month, my boys blew past the Mickey this and the Mickey that. They poo poo'd anything with a princess on it. They pronounced the Winnie the Pooh ride as "for babies." The only other character at Disneyland to give them pause was good old Buzz Lightyear and his futuristic zapper. They love Buzz, but they love and fear Darth.

This year, in 2009, it's all about Star Wars.

My boys are obsessed. It began small, in preschool, then quickly blossomed into a full-blown obsession.

I don't fuel the obsession by showing them Star Wars or Clone Wars movies. But I do indulge them with the occasional Star Wars Lego set or Star Wars action figure...oh, and I might have shown them a You Tube video (or ten!) of children at the Disneyland Jedi Training Academy.

Twin Moms at the Silicon Valley Moms Chevy Event

When I first became a mom, my world was my twin mom friends. We'd met through our local twins club, Gemini Crickets, and huddled together for warmth and safety, protecting our young, protecting each other. Moms of singletons ventured out and reclaimed their former lives faster than we did. We were slow to get going, encumbered by double the baby gear, double the weight and double the challenges. Slowly, our babies grew up, became preschoolers and now, kindergartners and we, well, we just aged. And we're outgrowing our twins club, the days of sleep training and potty training and Music Together far behind us.

I joined SV Moms just before they launched, back in April of 2006. Linsey and Linda soon followed me over, and then, this year, we were joined by Carla (who photo blogs), Ana Garza and on Deep South Moms, by Lisa G. Recently, we were even followed over by the BFF to twin moms, Mama Speak, who is 6 degrees from every twin mom I know and I love her! Suddenly, it seems as if we've all got our groove back. We'd passed through the twindom and survived the early years. But what next? Then came SV Moms, and there we found a new home. What could be better than going off to college with your closest friends? That's how it feels.

When my son finds himself in a new place, he uses a trick to facilitate making new friends. He brings a toy. Then, when the kids flock around him, attracted to the toy and ultimately, to him, he feels secure. It's his way of making friends. Believe it or not, I'm a bit of a shy person inside, always slightly insecure. I rarely like to be the first person to enter the room. No, you go first, I'll follow behind. I think I need to be an event photographer. At my friend's wedding, she assigned a bashful friend the task of taking candid Polaroid shots of wedding guests and it worked, the friend worked the room with her camera, meeting people along the way.

So that's what I need, an excuse to be there, a reason to approach people. I know, I can rely on what my mom says is my incredible wit and adorable personality, yada yada to do the same, but couldn't I just tote around a security blanket once in a while? So barring a fancy camera to bring me comfort, I do love that I have my twin mom friends as my social crutch. And having braved a few social events within the blogging community In Real Life, I am finally branching out and enjoying it. Really, I am. I'm lucky to be able to move amongst the two communities, now interwoven. I've even met more SV Moms bloggers who are moms of twins: Beth, Kirsten, Alix, Bonggamom and Sidney! Not to say that moms of singletons don't rock - they do! - but sharing the experience of parenting twins, especially during the early years, is a special bond.

Boys Will be Boys

I am the mother of boys. I'm trying to raise them as globally minded citizens of the world who appreciate the pine needles they're standing on. Smell the pine needle, feel it, remember this moment, this tree, this adventure. Look at a map. Look for the treasure, run barefoot in the sand. Here's another map, find yourself on the map, find Paris, find Portland. Look, feel, smell - use all your senses. Take it in. Notice things. Ask questions, seek answers. See that person - he has a history. Run into the world, feel the wind. Read.

My boys are marvelous creatures. Working within my limited means (read: money!), I'm trying to give them the tools they need to seek their places in this big world. Which is why we're always on the go, why I'm always giving them teaching moments, why we're always looking, smelling, and eating up the world. They climb, they play, they imagine and slowly, they understand just a little bit more.

I won't keep my kids in the dark, sheltered in the living room, eyes glued to the television.

Inside, I celebrate my boys and the beautiful human beings they've become and yet, I have an uneasy feeling that society does not celebrate boys in early childhood. While I have no doubt that my boys' talents and abilities will take them far later on in life, society does not seem to celebrate the accomplishments of boys when boys are young. In kindergarten, for instance, there is great emphasis on fine motor perfection. Can you write your name in deneliean, dear block letter boys? In my experience, girls seem to favor fine motor activities. I was one of those little girls. I'd spend hours, in fact, I preferred to spend hours in my room coloring and drawing and writing letters over going outside. My brother, on the other hand, was always and I mean always, outside playing. Who would have had the advantage in kindergarten? Why me, of course. I think it skews parents' perceptions of how well their children are doing in school. Parents of girls get to coast with pride over their daughter's accomplishments, while boys who are accomplished at so many different things, get overlooked, their kindergarten experiences soured by the emphasis on fine motor perfection.

A Halloween Birthday at Disneyland

My twin boys will never not know that their birthday is coming. The signs will be few at first, a falling leaf, a chilly morning. Then, a dot of orange here and there, and finally, a sea of orange pumpkins and they will know. Fall is in the air, our birthday.

My boys are fall birthday boys, born in my favorite season. So what did we do to celebrate their big fifth birthday this year? We headed to Disneyland!

Looking over the Halloween at Disneyland site, I was mesmerized by the promises of a Disneyland transformed for Halloween. Disneyland is a special place when it's not a holiday, but dressed up in spookatcular style? There's nothing else like it. What a visual treat!

We'd been to Disneyland once before, in the unadorned month of May back when my boys were just three. At the time, I'd fretted over the type of stroller I should bring. This time, I'd planned to go on my twins' birthday. I'd heard that 2009 was like a twins convention at Disneyland -- but we didn't end up going on their actual birthday; it just didn't work with our schedule. The nice folks as Disneyland did treat us to a one night stay at the Grand Californian hotel and that was a gift the entire family enjoyed.

The Grand Californian made me smile from the very instant we pulled up to the front doors on a warm October Saturday. Tourists, most dressed in sunny weather attire, were bounding in and out of cars. I looked at my boys and hoped they were making a memory out of this. I love my own summer vacation in Southern California memories but mine were full of motels and neon signs, not Craftsman artistry!

In the warmly decorated lobby, my boys made themselves comfortable in front of a television showing classic Disney cartoons. They were in stitches over the classic slapstick fare of Donald Duck and Goofy - they'd never seen anything like it! It was so nice to have my boys sit still during the 15 minutes it took us to register at the front desk. A few minutes later, with our luggage stowed until our room was ready, we settled in for lunch at the hotel's Storytellers Cafe, future home to almost all our meals (let's say it was convenient and family friendly - oh, and yummy!). 

After lunch, we headed to the adjacent California Adventure Park which we told our children was really a part of Disneyland (it is, in a way...). "Where are the Pirates of the Caribbean?" they kept asking us to which we'd replied, "We don't know...let's keep walking." I suppose we could have used our tickets for two days at Disneyland rather than splitting up the parks by days but I'd wanted to take advantage of the hotel's close proximity to California Adventure and there were a couple of rides I'd really wanted to check out (Toy Story Mania, Soarin Over California, Tower of Terror). For the record, I forgot to wear the 3D glasses on Toy Story Mania until the ride was nearly over and kept wondering why puffs of air kept shooting past me. My boys didn't love Toy Story Mania and they much prefer the Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters ride at Disneyland instead. Soaring Over California was amazing and exhilarating and we loved breathing in the scent of the orange groves! At night, once the kiddos were tucked into bed (a bunkbed AND a trundle bed!) at our luxurious hotel, I made my way over to the other hotel...the Tower of Terror which I LOVED, with apologies to the strangers into whose ears I SCREAMED and SCREAMED.

My boys ended their day in bubble wrap bliss. Our kind friends at Disney Resorts had sent over a fun-filled gift basket plus balloons for their birthday. My kids were thrilled to have received such a special gift! They got mouse ears and markers and autographed photos of Buzz Lightyear and Peter Pan. But imagine a big hotel bed filled from corner to corner with bubble wrap! I don't know, in my mind, that runs a pretty close second to a fun-filled day at Disneyland.

The following day was the Big Day and by that I mean, my boys both realized their recent dream of attending the Star Wars Jedi Academy. My biggest worry had been how to deal with the sibling rivalry repercussions if only one of the boys had been chosen. I'd cautioned my boys, prompting them to be prepared to be disappointed if only one or none of them had been selected but I think because we planned our outing so well, the boys did both get chosen and it was exciting for them and exciting for their parents! I'm not a Star Wars fan and everything I know about the genre is by proxy and still, I was terribly excited to see my boys become full-fledged jedis on their fifth birthday. What a gift for my 5-year-old boys!

By midday, the crowds at Disneyland were enormous, but we'd been able to already see and do so much because we'd done everything between the hours of 7am and noon, before the heat of the day, and before the groundswell of crowds. Why was it so crowded during what I'd thought was the off-season? In talking with another twin mom friend of mine who'd also battled crowds there in October, we think it's because Disney has done such a effective job of marketing a Disneyland transformed into a whimsical pumpkin patch. Indeed, what a sight it is -- if you can look beyond the crowds.

So back to the hotel we went, fleeing the heat and the throngs of people. There are three pools at the Grand Californian, all of which were easily accessible via back elevators which pretty much deposited us ten feet from our hotel room. Sweet! I'm swimsuit averse, as I have been since I was a self-conscious adolescent so I monitored my boys from the sidelines while daddy took the plunge with our boys. They tested all three pools. The first was large and inviting - and in full sun. The second was round and fully shaded and so slightly chilly. The third had a mini slide for toddlers and a longer twisty water slide for stronger swimmers. My boys did both! How better to top off a morning at Disneyland than with an afternoon at the pool? My boys were having the time of their lives. The pool supplied towels and if needed, life jackets, so we really didn't have to bring those bulky items with us.

After the pool and after a gluttonous run on the buffet at Storytellers Cafe, we pushed the limits of  exhaustion for one final evening visit to Disneyland, hoping to catch the 9pm showing of Fantasmic. But the crowds were just too immense so we didn't have the patience to stand in line for any more rides. I pined for the empty streets of Disneyland at 7am... We ended up using our single strollers that evening and just strolling about the park. By the time 8:30pm rolled around, our little birthday boys were passed out.

And with that, my children exited Disneyland in the fashion of generations of children before them, collapsed in utter exhaustion!

Thank you Disneyland and Disneyland resorts. We can't wait to go back!

Original post to Chalk and Cheese Chronicles.

À bicyclette!

Cue the Yves Montand, my boys are riding bikes!

Last summer, my then 4.75-year-old boys had been riding their heavy 18 (or 19"?) bicycles with training wheels since this past spring. We'd long since abandoned the tiny 12 (or 13"?) bicycles with training wheels since graduating to the bigger bikes. But the mom from whom we'd purchased both sets of bikes (at different times) told me to go back to the smaller bikes when it came time to learning to ride without training wheels. "Remove the training wheels and the pedals then take them to a small, grassy hill and they'll learn to balance," she said.

I'd known for some time that my boys were ready to ride those 12' bikes. The only problem was that those tiny bikes lived at grandpa's home for short rides down his street and in his back yard. Grandpa didn't believe the boys were ready, always erring on the "older is better" side - for everything. I begged him to take off the training wheels. "Then we'll give it a try the next time we're over, " I explained. But every week when we visited, the training wheels remained on. Finally, I just removed the training wheels myself (but kept the pedals on), brought my boys to a local school and within minutes, my boys were pedaling and pedaling fast. This was three months ago. Most of our same-age friends also hit this milestone around the same time.

Three year's ago, while vacationing in Bend, Oregon, the Target there had wooden balance bikes (similar to the popular Skuut) on clearance for TWELVE DOLLARS. I don't know if it was some kind of reverse psychology, but I didn't go for it. My mom told me, "You have so much stuff for the boys already," and it was true, I'd been trying to downsize the number of toys. I walked away without the balance bikes. They usually run around about $100 so I really should have snapped up those bikes at Target. What was I thinking? They could have been up on their bikes years ago! But then again, why would I want that?

A Dazed Mind and Happy Feet

We're at Saravana Bhavan, nourishing a friendship back to health over a dinner of dosas and steamy cups of Indian chai. But our words fall flat, unable to remain aloft. To our left, the kitchen sizzles with the sounds of frying; to our right, a flat screen television blasts a Bollywood beat and above us, the piped in sounds of traditional Indian music together compete quite effectively, drowning out our conversation. We give up, our voices strained.

My friend suggests we do something relaxing and borrows my phone. She calls ahead. They are open late, she is sure. "Ok, ok, " I hear her say, "we'll be there at 10."

"What time do they close?" I ask. "Eleven p.m., " she says. "Let's give it a try," I reply.

We jump in the car and drive, passing by older style motels with neon signs. This is the seedier stretch of El Camino in Palo Alto. Then we see it - we think. There are two signs for very different businesses, but with similar names. It's confusing. Shadows move from behind the curtains - it's that one. We are not alone at this late hour. We duck into the non-descript, darkened building, chased by the night air.

Three people greet us. "We were at the apartment, " they say, "but we came back."

Sorry, says my friend, but I'm cringing of embarrassment. I'm not keen on being the last ones in. We're inconveniencing them. What time did they really close?

The dimly lit room seems enormous, with spaces for 15 people. We lie down on side by side oversized loungers. I feel nervous. Nobody talks. (Clothes are on, only my head band was removed.)

Slosh, slosh.

Water, hotter than I'm used to arrives in a plastic tub. I slip my feet into it, trying to relax but my mind is at odds with my feet. My mind says relax, stay. My feet say run away quickly. Too hot!

I bristle but my germ free feet stay put.

You Checked the Tide Tables, Right?

I spent many a childhood weekend perched precariously over wet and craggy rocks, peering into tide pools. My father would wedge his fishing pole into the rocks while we played and played. My mother stayed behind in the parking lot, reading Sunset magazine in the comfort of the car (and this was way before the advent of cell phones, so I imagine she sometimes had a very long wait.) I recall going tide pooling out at Pillar Point Harbor in Half Moon Bay, but it's been built up a bit since then and for the life of me, the exact spot where we used to hunt for Starfish and sea anenomes must be no longer accessible because I can't find it.

Now that I have my own children who, at nearly age five, can easily

scamper across those tide pool rocks, I've been wanting to take them to the tide pools. We have an

Usborne book called On the Seashore, which I've been reading to my children since they were barely able to walk. It introduced my boys to the concept of tide pools and then we pulled it all together with the first of many visits to the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Tide pools are the perfect touchy, feely play areas that children love. Use one finger, I always cautioned and never lift an animal out of its habitat. Play gently, learn fiercely and leave it alone!

Finally, a friend mentioned that she and her husband had taken their son to the tide pools in Half Moon Bay recently and that they were thinking of going back, they'd had so much fun. We decided to tag along because, for one thing, it's always nice to follow someone who knows how to read tide pool tables what they're doing.

So last week, we set out together for Half Moon Bay by way of Lemos Farm. Low tide wasn't expected until 6pm so we pretty much had the stretch of the day to play amongst the pumpkins and ponies.

"We're going to the beach beneath the Ritz Carlton," my friend said, "then we can have the kids use the clean restrooms there afterward." She's a little OCD about the clean bathroom thing, but then again, so am I. I thought it was a winning idea!

We ended up reaching the tide pools around 4:30pm. I looked at the beautiful, tiny stretch of windswept beach. Where were the tide pools? We continued walking, waves crashing on our left, sheer cliffs on our right. I kept eyeing the surf with trepidation, crossing my fingers that they'd checked the tide pool table correctly. "Low tide is at 6pm, right?" I asked nervously. "Right," they assured me. Still, I couldn't help but look up and down those sheer cliffs, looking for a spot where we might be able to escape the pounding surf, if need be. It was kind of like knowing the location of fire exits in a hotel.

Ok, so I was a little nervous. I don't know, it's just something about the cold, hard Northern California surf that intimidates me.

Where I thought the stretch of beach ended actually continued around a bend but the frothy surf was still licking the part of the cliff that formed the bend. When the surf receded, our friends scurried to the other side, before it returned, leaving me to think that I might very well high tail it back to the safety of the car and check my email on my phone read my magazine like my mother had done.

What if they were wrong and the tide was coming IN? We'd be stranded. How would we manage to hold our boys up on that cliff all night long until help came? (Obviously, I know nothing about tide tables and yes, I'm a worry wart at times.)

We decide to follow our friends and oh my, oh my, am I ever glad I didn't give in to my fears. Suddenly, the familiar black, craggy rocks of my childhood appeared. Tide pools! Even at 4:30, the ocean revealed more than enough for us to revel in. The sky was slightly overcast. It was windbreaker weather, utterly and purely refreshing. Immediately, we got down to business hunching our backs over stranded pools of sea life. I can't believe that I'd been missing out on all of this. It had been decades since my last visit to any substantial tide pools. Decades!

We tried to teach the boys to be attentive as to where they walked. We pointed out starfish, hermit crabs, sea anemones and even somebody's lost sunglasses. I hope it won't be decades before my boys visit tide pools again. In ten years time, even, so much will change.

Original post to Mad About Multiples.